Blowing Steam

Eeeewe! 

I have sweat running down my chest between my breasts.  Not the most comfortable feeling., and very unfamiliar.  I am usually not much of a sweater.  Well, I sweat a little, but never this drops-rolling-from-my-temples kind of sweat.  As a bi-product of having fibromyalgia my body does not usually respond in the normal and healthy way to many normal and healthy experiences.  I can get dizzy sitting in a chair.  I can jog/walk for two hours and not sweat.  I can be shivering in 70 degree weather, and also feel like I’m roasting in 70 degree weather.  I drop things constantly and for no apparent reason.  The repetitive motion of vacuuming puts me into a painful flare-up (where nerves are over-reacting and inflame the muscles and joints, causing pain and exhaustion).  I wake up at least one day a week with a migraine.  I have learned how to type with numb hands.    

But, today I am sweating, like a normal person should after a jog.  J I take it as a good sign, even though it’s gross.

 I have been feeling just a little bit down lately.  A little blue.  I think it is a symptom of being so overwhelmed the past many months.  My days were filled beyond the brim and spilling over, with house-hunting, moving, planning the wedding, starting my son in a new school, worrying about a smooth transition, getting married, and all the other things that need to be tended to.  Now, I don’t have all of that pulling on me and keeping me motivated.  Life is relatively calm.  What do I do with myself when there are no fires to prevent or put out?  I should enjoy it, right?  I should relax. 

Ha!

It is harder than it sounds.

Since I have been feeling blue and unmotivated, I have not taken care of myself as well as I should.  Which is also a reason that I may be feeling low.  It is one of those vicious cycles.  

I forced myself to put on my running clothes today.  It was torturous.  I forced myself to put on my tennis shoes.  I forced myself to leash Daisy.  I forced myself to go out the door.  Once I was out, the rest was easy.  I made sure not to stop after passing the doorjamb.  I barely shut the door behind me, and I just propelled myself forward, first at a long-stride walk. 

In my new neighborhood, I have not yet discovered a favorite route to take.  I have not yet found my “sweet spot” where I feel most comfortable running.  Instead I just scare my neighbors into shutting their blinds while I run around the subdivision, huffing and puffing like a steam engine.   

Toot! Toot!